VoxVibe

A woman has been praised for leaving a family vacation after she was excluded by her in-laws.

In a post on Reddit's r/AmITheA****** subreddit with over 20,000 upvotes, user u/AirSignificant4781 explained what had happened.

"I went on a family trip with my in-laws two weeks ago. My mother-in-law [has] always thought that I am a bit 'ignorant' and 'backward' and that just because I come from lower class family," explained the 26-year-old.

When they arrived at the hotel, the family arranged to go for dinner, but didn't tell her about the plan.

"My husband avoid telling me and I learned it last minute after he had already got dressed," she explained. "I asked where he was going and he said he and family were going to eat out but I wasn't invited because his mom assumed that since I wouldn't be familiar with the food and 'how to eat it' at the restaurant, then it's better for me to stay-in and eat at the hotel."

Offended and upset, she didn't even argue, and instead packed and booked the first flight home.

Clinical psychologist and founder of Dr. Kaur Therapy Gurpreet Kaur told Newsweek: "Relationships with the in-laws are not automatically difficult, however, the meeting of two families will bring with them differences inevitably."

"What might be considered normal for one family may be utterly unacceptable for another. The problem arises when these issues cannot be foreseen and spoken about," she added. "It can feel isolating being married into a family who are different and non-approving which can trigger one's own past trauma of rejection and loneliness. It is important to sit and talk about differences being noticed with your partner as and when they come up to see if there is a way to work forwards together as a couple whilst learning about each other's families."

When he realized she was gone, her husband was furious that she had suddenly left.

"He blew up and called me ridiculous and irrational to do this," she said. "[He] even said that I acted in an ungrateful manner and embarrassed him in front of his family. We argued and he started giving me silent treatment after he came home."

Turning to the internet for advice, the woman asked if she had overreacted.

In more than 5,000 comments, people backed her decision to leave.

One commenter said: "You need a new husband, he should have stuck up for you—either you both go or neither."

"His family may be a bunch of a*******, but he didn't defend you when his mother said such atrocities? He actually thinks his mother is right and you don't belong there. Get out, now, fast," replied another.

Another Redditor wrote: "When it comes to world class rudeness, this one is right up there."

For others struggling with a relationship with their in-laws, Kaur explained that communication is the key.

"The individuals would first need to talk with each other about their perception of what happened. Then need to explore why each was triggered and what that is related to," she said. "Families will automatically have an influence on their loved one and understanding those influences can be a powerful way for individuals to think about their values and priorities. This couple would need to think very carefully about each other's needs, hurts, expectations, and limits before deciding whether this relationship could last."

Newsweek reached out to u/AirSignificant4781 for comment. We were not able to verify the details of this case.

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

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